Hesitation

Today, I had a moment that I couldn’t step up and speak out. It happened in a web meeting where there were about fifteen colleagues from several affiliates. A half of them are proficient at English so I barely caught up with what they were talking about. At one point, one of participants asked our team a question. I was not clear about his point. So, I paused a few seconds and them my boss answered instead of me. My boss is the most fluent speaker in our team So I ended up being dependent on him.

Here is my observation. I was not fully focused and prepared enough for the ongoing discussion. In other words, I was not present. Because some thoughts were lingering in my head like what if my English doesn’t sound good or if my colleagues think I’m such an idiot if I say this and something like that. I have to admit I can’t achieve anything if I think that way. Being confident is always important in business but I really felt hesitant to give it a try this time. This is purely a lack of practice and commitment. Eventually, it was my fault since I allowed myself to play safe. Now I’m determined if I have a next chance I will take it in a heartbeat.